I find it very difficult to relax. My mind is always racing – did I forget something? Am I supposed to be somewhere? I am constantly ruminating over recent decisions, conversations, work and my future. I feel guilty when I am doing nothing and just chilling. I should be doing something productive or meaningful, right?
With all my neurotic behaviour in mind, I booked three nights in a somewhat secluded little red cabin on Columbia Lake in British Columbia. The fewer distractions, the better. I am checking in with myself.
This morning I pulled the covers tighter as I contemplated what I should do today. I made coffee and stared out the window. There was no need to hurry. I had no deadlines. No one was waiting for my email or text. I could just be.
In the last few days I’ve read two books – The Last Lecture and When Breath Becomes Air – which have made me really think about life and death, passion, dreams, and the way we choose to live our lives. Sorry I don’t have an “a ha” moment to share with you – just yet.
I can tell you that I do my best thinking when I run. After I finished my third cup of coffee, I headed down the road. The plan was to run 5K in one direction and turn around. Save for the speeding odd pick up truck that passed me, it was very quiet. Normally I don’t like running on country roads because it can be tedious. Today I didn’t mind as I just needed to move.
The temperatures were headed in the plus zero range. My original plan was to stay inside, read and do yoga. But the sun kept winking at me through the cabin windows. Come outside, she beckoned. I didn’t want to waste this glorious winter day.
After my run, I went down to the lake. I was tempted to see how frozen the lake was but I wasn’t that foolish. Instead I walked along the rail tracks for a few minutes and watched the clouds move over the mountains in the distance. Our country’s beauty never disappoints.
I stumbled upon some hoodoos near the lake. There’s a hoodoo hiking trail nearby so they may be part of the trail. What a nice surprise.
As I wrap of this post, I am thinking ahead to the rest of the night – Should I go for a walk? Should I read another book? Should I go to the hot springs? Should I do 50 squats? Decisions.
Relaxation. It comes easy to some people while others have to work hard at it.